I feel I am a person that can handle a fair share of criticism. I mean I write programming for a group of people on a daily basis. No doubt, a piece of…”recommendation” gets thrown my way on occasion.
However, recently someone said something to me that really upset me. It was one of those things that the more I processed what was said, the more it impacted me negatively. I started to think through the why…why was I impacted so much by this person’s statement? Was it the person? Was it what was said? Was it the way it was said? Was it who it was said in front of? Was it all of those pieces?
And then I realized – it doesn’t matter. What matters is that one statement had completely taken over my head and was filtering my view of…everything.
“You know, I probably should have dealt better with my kids the other day. I’m not a very good parent. Yesterday’s workout I gave up mentally in. I’m definitely on the law of diminishing returns”……oh the list is endless.
Then the talk started shifting towards them – “If they even knew who I was…They are such a negative person” (ironic thought in that moment).
I’ve been around and sat down with people in conversation in my entire career. I know that I’m not the only one this happens to. We become so focused on his or her opinion of us or even our own unattainable expectations of ourselves. And it spirals quickly. Our mind starts to dictate and identify who we are without any basis of fact but just what we conjure up in our own heads. I hear this all the time: “I CAN’T lose weight. I NEED to get in shape before I join a gym. EVERYONE is watching me. I’m making a FOOL of myself.”
I came across the Ben Bergeron quote: “Champions are built in the mind first.” I’m not saying you are going to win an Olympic medal. Or be the CEO of the company. That’s not what I mean by “champion” at least. But you need to be clear as to what your identity is and why you are doing what you are doing.
Let me give you something to chase: health. Maybe you are a mom of 3 that is just trying to find time for yourself. Believe that – not that you should be the woman doing 25 pull ups. Maybe you are someone that hasn’t been to the gym since college and and need to move the needle away from the direction it is heading. And so you hired a knowledgable nutrition coach and started fitness program. Own that – not the expectation that you are still the guy you were back in college.
Can we ALL improve? 100%. Can we have role models or people that inspire and push us? Absolutely. But they don’t define you. You can’t let them define you.
Pursue health with everything that you have. Let that define you.