In 2008 I was handed my first CrossFit style workout by a buddy and he said, “You should try this.” And so, like a 27 year old idiot (sorry if you are 27), I did. And I realized I wasn’t good at any of the movements that were in that particular workout. Not one of them.
I sat in a bit of a dilemma because there was something about the workout that intrigued me – it was different than anything I had done before, it was more challenging than what I was currently doing in a gym, I wanted to do more – and yet at that point in my life (which has certainly changed in the last 12 years) I had a strong aversion to anything that I wasn’t good at.
For me, I ended up finding that workout motivated me to spend any spare time I had (ask my wife because we had a 6 month old at the time and various videos or books seemed to capture a lot more of my attention than my firstborn) studying movements, lifts, gymnastics, positioning…because I wanted to do ALL the things well. But as soon as I “conquered” one movement there was another one that I absolutely stunk at. And so I was motivated again and would study, practice, fail, practice some more…
Now I have 3 kids and I get to watch them – see where their motivation comes from – because they sit in same predicament that I found myself in: intrigued by something but not wanting to not do well at that something. One thing that we have worked hard as parents at is giving them space to make those decisions, to discover where their motivation comes from. I have been able to watch my middle child try to be motivated by what his older brother was motivated by: sports. And so he went through soccer, baseball, a quick hot second thought of basketball…and landed on the violin. And trust me, that first year was torture (for us). But he became a student. He studied. He practiced (mostly) because he wanted to be good. Turns out he has a bit of his father in him – he wanted to catch up to another student who started 2 years before him. Fast forward 3 years and he just figured out part of the Star Wars and Imperial March theme songs (mostly by ear), has flown through just about 2 Suzuki books (a violin teaching methodology)…and is a song or two away from that student that started two years before him. Will he play forever? Who knows. But I don’t really care. I know he decided that right now he wanted to do something, he was motivated by his desire to do well and attacked it.
We are our own worst enemies when it comes to progress. I’ve said this before and I think I’ll keep saying it – you can’t wish health into being, you can’t wish a pull up, you can’t wish getting stronger, you can’t wish to play the violin, you can’t wish a job, you can’t wish a career choice. At some point you have to ask the question: why do I want this thing? Are you motivated by competition? Changing the numbers the doctor told you needed some attention? Being around for your kids? Being happier? Enjoying what you do?
Find whatever it is for you. And then hire the coach or teacher or dietitian or get the gym membership or change the job or (fill in the blank).
Wishing won’t get you very far. Answering the “why” and then attacking it, will.