A question someone asked me recently was: “Marc, what do you value?” I thought of the big ones – my wife, kids, faith, health, longevity, being a good friend, being a supportive boss, provide leadership, encouraging….the list seemed to keep growing (I would also say that those are things but what is the core value for me with all of those pieces? That needs to be fleshed out). Then he asked, “What do you prioritize?” It took me a second because I thought we just covered this. “My wife, kids, faith, health, longev….”
Then he clarified what his question was getting at: sure there are beliefs, core values that one has but priorities are what one actually does. Sure, I could have a core value that says I value my kids (I would also challenge – What do you mean by “value your kids?”) but if I leave for work before they are up and get home after they are in bed, am I prioritizing them with, say, my time?
It’s not to say that we can’t have values (beliefs) and, at times, priorities (behaviors) that don’t align. But I would say that if that is consistent I might push back and ask, “Is your value really a priority?” That’s not a question of judgement or even rhetorical in nature. It’s a question that we all have to answer. Maybe what we feel we should say isn’t really what we deeply value (and that’s ok!)
Let’s bring this to the health world. What do you value in your health? Is it how you look? Is it what you can lift? Is it being able to prove to yourself that you can stick with something? Is it to be at a certain weight? Is it being around for a really long time? The follow up to ask is where am I spending my time? I mean literally spending your time. Is it scrolling through social media or is it meal planning? Is it talking to friends about how you want to lose weight or is maybe hiring someone who knows what they are talking about to help? Is getting into the gym or is it getting lost in work?
Where you spend your time tells a lot about your priorities which, may (I do emphasize may) speak a lot into what you value.
If you are stuck in whatever area of life you feel stuck in, an inventory of time (priorities) and values may be a helpful exercise.