9 years ago I got a diagnosis: “Sir you have demyelinating white matter on your brain.”
“Doc….I have no idea what you just said.”
“You have MS.”
The news rocked my world. For about 2 months afterwards I lived in a world of self-pity and negativity – “I’ll probably end up in a wheelchair;” “I’ll never be able to play with my kids;” “We will need to re-construct our house for first floor living;” “How could this happen to me?”….Those are the PG ratings of what went through my head.
And then something happened. I had a conversation with a really good friend. He acknowledged my sadness, encouraged the grief…and then asked “what now?” That question opened my eyes up. For the next chunk of time (maybe a few months, maybe the next year? I don’t really have a time frame on that but it felt like a long time…) I had a completely different outlook. I looked at my kids differently. My wife differently. The people around me differently. I felt like I had purpose – to live the best version of myself that I could: spend as much time with my family that I could, do all the activities, focus on exercise and nutrition to hopefully prevent a relapse….
….and then time passed. And slowly I started forgetting – forgetting to put an emphasis on the things that really matter. And you know what I find follows that? Complaining.
It is a product of how we live. We like to complain. We like to complain that people aren’t following COVID protocols. Then we like to complain that we should no longer be following COVID protocols. We like to complain that where we want to go isn’t open yet (hair salons, barbershops, nail salons, restaurants, the store I want to go to). We like to complain that the gym isn’t open. We like to complain that it’s not fair. Then we like to complain that when the gym does open, albeit outside only, that we should be inside. Then we like to complain that it’s too cold. Oh no, wait, it’s too hot. Then the doors of the gym will finally open and we will complain that it’s too hot inside. Or we can’t use all the equipment. Then we’ll complain that we would rather be outside…
I say ALL these things because I know I have said ALL those things…frequently. And I know you do too.
But what if our new challenge was to stop the complaints (well….it would be deafening quiet I can tell you that)? What if we lived the best versions of ourselves? What if we lived out our pillar of “no excuses?” What if we stopped complaining about why we couldn’t make it to the gym or didn’t want to do anymore kettlebell swings or burpees or bring our nutrition into focus…and actually just did those things? Going back to the months after I snapped out of my tough head space 9 years ago…it was a pretty awesome view of the world and the people around me.
I know for me, it’s time to put my head down, get my exercise in (even if it’s limited to burpees and kettlebell swings for now), track my nutrition…and ENJOY those around me…not complain about all those things. It’s a waste of time, energy and head space. And honestly, it doesn’t accomplish anything. I can only say it because I so often get stuck there.
I can’t wait to be able to open up the gym…but I’m grateful to be able to move and do some version of exercise with people I enjoy seeing, even outdoors.